It's In The Water

He's contaminated the water! I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I had merely assumed he targeting Bon Appetit venues; how naive of me.

I haven't actually found any proof of this, of course. I've been noticing, all week, that the water from the tap in our bathroom tastes a little funny. Sooner or later, things like this lead me into paranoia, and so I began to suspect some sort of large-scale water contamination.

Now, usually when I come up with paranoid theories, the impetus for the theory disappears and I am revealed, once again, to be just a little too worrisome; I've learned not to talk about these things.

But as my paranoid ideations stepped into full-swing, I made the leap. There is something in the water, and Vladimir put it there. Maybe the funny taste is completely unrelated, just another random flaw to which I attached meaning, but that's not the point. It makes so much sense.

Why use food as a delivery method when there's so much ground to cover. You'd have to freshly contaminate every new shipment of food as it came in, making sure to evenly divide to account for the popularity of the food item in question. And then Passover comes, and all the Jews on campus stop eating Bon Appetit altogether. The food method was full of holes.

But is water Kosher For Passover? You bet your ass it is.


So here's what we know : the compound is in the water, and it has been for weeks. If you drink water at Wash U, then you've already been compromised. The trigger has been refined into a psychoactive television image, which I can only assume will be spliced into the cable of every TV on campus.

I know what he's done, and what he's going to do.

But when is he going to do it?