All-Classes Eve

Here we are, on the eve of our classes; our officiation into sophomorism (which is, apparently, a sly insult to our intelligence) riding the rising sun along the backside of the earth. Here we are, on this most unholy of evenings, when who should stick his neck in the door but our elusive suitemate, Vladimir Wipidowski. Alan and Chaz are playing XBox, but are torn away from the game by Vlad's sudden appearance. It is not until I hear his doltish "Hallo" that I put my book down to investigate.

Vlad shakes my hand with moronic enthusiasm, then proceeds to search the suite. I ask him where he's been, and he levels us with his answer. I have tried my best to recall it verbatim.

"I met very soft girl, Lily, at airport. We split cab. I help her carry things. I sleep over." You should keep in mind that this took upwards of a full minute to say, complete with all the various Vladiosyncracies like "Ehhhh," "I uhhh" and the incorrigible "You know?"

He then asks if any packages had arrived for him. Chaz, for whatever reason, has to retrieve it from his own room. He hasn't even bothered to re-seal the box; I'll have to ask him what was inside.

Vlad takes his box under one arm, salutes us with his free hand, and begins marching out the door. Alan asks where he's going, to which Vlad responds, "Lily. I sleep over, and over," before closing the door behind him.

All I can say is that I'm not complaining. The fewer bodies we have in this suite, the happier I am.

That is all.