Alfonzo At The Movies

I don't know if I've got the gag reflex suppressed enough to ever make this a regular thing, but my most recent perusal of the movie trailers on Apple's website has stirred me into action.


Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles
I understand that it's difficult to translate excitement, or even a sense of depth, but I can't help but feel that "Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles" sounds like the most boring movie ever made; even more boring than Citizen Kane (what? I said it!). I watched the trailer, and it looks like it might be a pretty good movie. I don't see foreign films often, but if I'm in the mood for one and RAFTOM is on the marquis, I'm in.


Blackballed : The Bobby Dukes Story
Yes, from the people who brought you Anchorman : The Legend Of Ron Burgandy and Talladega Nights : The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby comes another terrible movie; only this time, there's no budget. Let us all pray that there will be no more (Catchy Title) : (Synonym For Story) Of (Character Name) movies.


The Last Kiss
From the moment I saw the Calvin Klein-esque picture of Zach Braff, I was worried. Could it be a spoof? Some sort of farce on The Gap, CK and Abercrombie's mannequin models? A redemption of Zoolander? The trailer loaded and I found myself watching The O.C.. Well, not exactly, but something that looked an awful lot like it. Just as I'd converged upon the haunting familiarity of the film's style, whose broad face should show up but Rachel Bilson's. Case and point.

But that's enough of that.


I saw her again, today, out on the oak walk between Rebstock and the library. She was walking towards Mallinckrodt with her little skeletal friend (I mean, I've been attracted to skeletal girls before, but it wasn't for the sake of them being skeletal), so I followed suit and got to piggyback on their conversation. A little strange, and occasionally referencing contexts I could not draw from, but informative all the same.

That is all.

Everybody's Stalking

So, as unrewarding as Atlanta has been to me, I have taken my automobile and left for greener fields. In the self-righteous high that came along with toppling the Capitlized Russian Boy, I thought that I might conjure some form of a social life out of the suburban rubble of the Debussy Manor. But a single visit to Carl's house, something I had talked myself into looking forward to, brought me into the stiff arms of addiction; the price of entertainment was, apparently, a $30 purchase and a monthly subscription. I'm a reader of fantasy novels, so I figure that I had no reason not to engage in the World of Warcraft.

Soon, it consumed me. It began to preclude all other social interactions and I became aggressively single-minded, to the point that I got kicked out of my guild and blacklisted by every experienced player. Unwilling to admit social defeat to a virtual realm, I cancelled my account and threw away the software. Alan and Carl, my theoretical cohorts, had to be left behind in their false world.

With nothing left for me in Atlanta, I sent my future landlord a check and moved into my studio apartment a whole 2 months early. Yes, your question is answered here and now; I'm checking out of the suite, finally getting a decent sized space to live in, alone. I feel like Chaz won't make it back to the group, so Alan may be stuck with Vladdy. Good riddance. I'll gladly continue to share my wit with you, just as long as I don't have to share my space with you.

I hear that Atlanta's 4th of July was rained out. It's only proper, then, that I tell you that the fireworks at the Arch were fantastic; truly worthy of a national monument. I went alone, but ended up tailing a bunch of WU students for the night. I had to lose them when they got on public transportation, but I was able to find them when they got back to campus. I occasionally find myself hypnotized by women that I've never met before, and the magesty of the fireworks was no deterrent to romantic brewings.

So maybe I followed her around. It wasn't like she was alone, and it wasn't like I was going to try talking to her. Though there's a reason to hang around the library. It's not like she had a boyfriend, or one that cared enough to see the fireworks with her.

I hate doing this. I wish there was some... more normal way to go about things...

That is all.