Two Weeks In Westfield
It is just a matter of duty which keeps me coming back to this school. My parents have invested a great deal of money in my future, yes, but that is not what I mean when I say duty. Like the bodhisaatva, I return from my shoppingtown nirvana to make the mortal sphere a little bit better (better for all but one, that is. I'm sure, at this point, I don't have to name him).
But all work and no play makes Alfonzo a dull boy, so I bring you news from the other side; from 2 miles south on Big Bend and 7 miles west on Manchester.
Sunday, September 4th, 2005 : I took refuge in the Westfield Shoppingtown after starting phase one of my grandest revenge. I thought it best to stay away from campus, just in case any inquiring minds might wonder about my involvement in the bust behind Danforth. I resided in the Dairy Queen/Orange Julius until they told me I'd had enough, at which point I decided I might hide in Hot Topic for the night. For clarification, I loathe Hot Topic (and, perhaps, hoped to do a little damage before leaving), but the color scheme which is most prevalent in their store happens to be the same color scheme of my wardrobe; I chose to camp there thinking that I would be well hidden amongst the novelty "I See Dumb People" t-shirts. Alas, 'twere my genes that undid me. The moment I walked in the store, it was instantly illuminated by the lustre of my (naturally) blond hair. Many a mascara-ed eye turned towards me, and I stepped out before the sound of sizzling skin became overwhelming. I left the mall, dejected.
Monday, September 5th : I was unable to make it to Westfield, as my class schedule did not permit it. I decided, though, to adjust my schedule to better suit my needs.
Tuesday, September 6th : I made my involvement in phase one public by writing to you from the Apple Store on the second floor. I attempted to spend the night in the LoveSac, but was unable to find any clerks who were interested in men. I buried myself under a pile of stuffed animals in the Build-A-Bear Workshop, and slept comfortably into Wednesday.
Wednesday, September 7th : I had set my cell phone to wake me up at 8 am so that I might make it back to school in time for my 9'o'clock. I did wake up at 8, but found that not a single Westfield employee did the same. I was trapped until 10 and made it to my 11'o'clock class on time. I decide that a schedule that starts at 12 would be ideal.
Thursday, September 8th : Again, unable to make it to Westfield.
Friday, September 9th : I can only explain my mistakes on this night as being a result of a prolonged separation from Chick-Fil-A and greater Westfield. I won't recount the events again, as the above link will tell you what you need to know.
Saturday and Sunday..... again, just check the link above if you've forgotten.
Monday, September 12th, I return to the promised land for some much needed R&R. I arrived 15 minutes before closing, and managed to pose as a remote-controlled robot with dead batteries, granting my a night in one of Brookstone's fabulous vibrating chairs. In the middle of the night, I am woken by a man named Cliff, but I don't have time to go into that tonight. Expect a post devoted to Cliff at some point in the future.
Tuesday, September 13th - Thursday, September 15th : With Cliff's help, I managed to stay on Shoppingtown grounds for over 48 hours. Yes, I realize that I had to skip classes to do this. It was a necessary sacrifice, as Cliff used the time to teach me the many wonders and secrets that Westfield holds. I am drawn away, Thursday evening, by news of Brody's half-ass punishment. Cliff warned me not to interrupt my training, that I was not yet ready to leave, but he doesn't understand....
This weekend : I've set phase two into motion. The anvil is in place, now all I have to do is bring down the hammer.
My friends, sometimes you want to go where only one guy knows your name; they don't even know you came. You wanna be where you can see a Chick-Fil-A and a Gymboree. You wanna be where nobody knows your name.
That is all.
But all work and no play makes Alfonzo a dull boy, so I bring you news from the other side; from 2 miles south on Big Bend and 7 miles west on Manchester.
Sunday, September 4th, 2005 : I took refuge in the Westfield Shoppingtown after starting phase one of my grandest revenge. I thought it best to stay away from campus, just in case any inquiring minds might wonder about my involvement in the bust behind Danforth. I resided in the Dairy Queen/Orange Julius until they told me I'd had enough, at which point I decided I might hide in Hot Topic for the night. For clarification, I loathe Hot Topic (and, perhaps, hoped to do a little damage before leaving), but the color scheme which is most prevalent in their store happens to be the same color scheme of my wardrobe; I chose to camp there thinking that I would be well hidden amongst the novelty "I See Dumb People" t-shirts. Alas, 'twere my genes that undid me. The moment I walked in the store, it was instantly illuminated by the lustre of my (naturally) blond hair. Many a mascara-ed eye turned towards me, and I stepped out before the sound of sizzling skin became overwhelming. I left the mall, dejected.
Monday, September 5th : I was unable to make it to Westfield, as my class schedule did not permit it. I decided, though, to adjust my schedule to better suit my needs.
Tuesday, September 6th : I made my involvement in phase one public by writing to you from the Apple Store on the second floor. I attempted to spend the night in the LoveSac, but was unable to find any clerks who were interested in men. I buried myself under a pile of stuffed animals in the Build-A-Bear Workshop, and slept comfortably into Wednesday.
Wednesday, September 7th : I had set my cell phone to wake me up at 8 am so that I might make it back to school in time for my 9'o'clock. I did wake up at 8, but found that not a single Westfield employee did the same. I was trapped until 10 and made it to my 11'o'clock class on time. I decide that a schedule that starts at 12 would be ideal.
Thursday, September 8th : Again, unable to make it to Westfield.
Friday, September 9th : I can only explain my mistakes on this night as being a result of a prolonged separation from Chick-Fil-A and greater Westfield. I won't recount the events again, as the above link will tell you what you need to know.
Saturday and Sunday..... again, just check the link above if you've forgotten.
Monday, September 12th, I return to the promised land for some much needed R&R. I arrived 15 minutes before closing, and managed to pose as a remote-controlled robot with dead batteries, granting my a night in one of Brookstone's fabulous vibrating chairs. In the middle of the night, I am woken by a man named Cliff, but I don't have time to go into that tonight. Expect a post devoted to Cliff at some point in the future.
Tuesday, September 13th - Thursday, September 15th : With Cliff's help, I managed to stay on Shoppingtown grounds for over 48 hours. Yes, I realize that I had to skip classes to do this. It was a necessary sacrifice, as Cliff used the time to teach me the many wonders and secrets that Westfield holds. I am drawn away, Thursday evening, by news of Brody's half-ass punishment. Cliff warned me not to interrupt my training, that I was not yet ready to leave, but he doesn't understand....
This weekend : I've set phase two into motion. The anvil is in place, now all I have to do is bring down the hammer.
My friends, sometimes you want to go where only one guy knows your name; they don't even know you came. You wanna be where you can see a Chick-Fil-A and a Gymboree. You wanna be where nobody knows your name.
That is all.
posted by Alfonzo Debussy | 5:50 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home