BREACH!

I have figured out how phase two was foiled. He-who-must-not-be-named has been reading the blog all along! For weeks! He's even been commenting under the guise of "Stu Crabshack."

I should have known. I should have instantly recognized this feeble pseudonym as the work of my rival, Brodycus Assholicus. So, now that my every word is being watched...

Know this, dickwad; any and all advantage you have derived from reading this blog is gone. You leave yourself, now, completely unprotected. In your hurry to make your presence known, you have made yourself naked within the enemy camp.

If I could promise you death, I would, but I am not so merciful as to allow your suffering to end prematurely. When you are at your weakest, your frail bird-bones crushed, your spirit splintered, your mind in tatters, that is when I will appear. Though your eyes will have ceased to focus, you will know it is me by my smile, the biggest you've ever seen. You will be broken, sir.

That's what you get for fucking my mother.